Pretend that’s not really my alarm going off, I just went to sleep.

Pretend I really do want to walk that extra mile, not that I have to because I ate popcorn last night.

Pretend that customer did not just hit on me. Again. He knows I know he’s married, I also take care of his wife. And he knows I’m married too.

Pretend those memories don’t mean anything, tiptoe around them so they lay still.

Pretend I want to weigh myself. Every. Fucking. Day.

Pretend I don’t want the number on the scale to be lower. No matter what it is.

Pretend I don’t worry about money.

Pretend I don’t want to tell them about themselves for treating her like that. And them too.

Pretend I don’t cringe when I remember that day. That night. Or that I can’t remember that night.

Pretend I don’t still want to slap her across her face for telling those lies.

Pretend I don’t want to take you in my arms.

Pretend I don’t hate myself for doing that. Again.

Pretend I don’t see that on the toilet paper when I wipe.

Pretend I didn’t just eat all of the marshmallows, and just the marshmallows, out of that brand new box of Lucky Charms.

Pretend I don’t feel that in my hip when I’m walking.

Pretend I don’t love you so much it hurts. Please do what you need to do.

Pretend I don’t want to tell him to get over himself. To stop playing victim. To stop being a bully.

Pretend I don’t want to just melt in social situations.

Pretend that feeling hungry and slightly in pain isn’t a comfortable and comforting feeling.

Pretend I can’t go on and on pretending.

via Daily Prompt: Pretend

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